My ADHD Mind

I’m just posting this to demonstrate how much my mind tends to skip around. It’s a wonder I get anything done! This is from my Facebook status:

Lots of things on my mind.

1. The Munchie had a blast at Chuck E. Cheese for her (late) b’day party. Her tummy hurt due to over stimulation (I think), but she was determined to have fun, and she did. She’s okay now.

2. Had a bad vibe while driving to CEC for the party. I think it was area-specific, because it hit and left in one town’s limits. It was a “something bad is gonna happen” feeling.

‎3. Dentist tomorrow morning. I hope The Munchie doesn’t puke again like the last time they tried to do x-rays (with those things in the mouth). And I hope the Dudeling doesn’t spaz out.

4. I really, really hope that getting acupuncture on Tuesday will help. The Munchie had a meltdown Friday that meant I had to carry her up to her room, because Xife wasn’t home from work yet. That aggravated the pinched sciatic nerve. I have work to do, Sciatica!

5. My three-legged cat seems to think she’s a dog. She acts like one!

6. I haven’t written in three days. I’ve been too busy trying to catch up with reading for my class. The eBook setup is NOT cool. Even if I had a Kindle, it wouldn’t work that way. It’s not a PDF download. It’s a “Digital Bookshelf” that requires its own software, and it SUCKS. So I had to order the print book. Which means I have paid for it twice.

7. I wonder how many episodes behind I am with “Eureka.”

8. I wonder how similar or different Temple Grandin is from The Munchie.

9. I’m glad I realized that one of my friends and I somehow got accidentally unfriended. Stupid Facebook.

10. I wonder if Google’s new thing will trump Facebook.

11. Does anyone use MySpace anymore?

12. I should get to bed so I’m not sleepy tomorrow.

13. I don’t think the Ricketts family should get blamed for the Cubs lame-ass performance this year. If they still look bad in five years, then yes, the should take the blame.

WELCOME TO THE ADHD MIND. 8^)

Egocentric much?

Many people with Asperger’s Syndrome (AS) are seen as being egocentric. Or aloof. Or arrogant. There’s a distinctive tendency to focus on one’s own experience, sometimes to the exclusion of everyone else. As one of the hallmark traits of AS, this is a social difficulty that has had a profound effect on my life. In my case, it’s more subtle, but it’s had no less impact than on people like my brothers, both of them social misfits.

I won’t speak to my brothers’ experiences right now–Deep Thought (the younger brother) told me he’d be interested in guest blogging later–but I can speak to mine. I’ve never been a social butterfly, but I can talk to people. Then again, that’s often the problem. I can talk to people. With? Well… Read the rest of this entry »

Without a diagnosis…

I will not hide that, at this time, I do not have an official Asperger’s Diagnosis. This came up while meeting with my therapist today (hey, we all need therapists at some point!). The argument is whether there’s a point to getting a diagnosis, and whether I even have AS. I strike her as being too empathetic toward other people’s feelings, and that people with ADHD have social interaction issues, sensory issues, and other similar things to AS.

Let me be clear: I respect and like my therapist. It’s not an easy profession. However, I have to disagree on this one. No, I’m not the expert, but I’ve been doing a lot of reading on AS, and I feel like it’s describing me in many ways. I am also learning that there are some fundamental differences between boys/men with AS and girls/women with AS. I am very interested in researching the extent of these differences, and to examine the nature vs. nurture aspect. For all of society’s advances, boys and girls continue to be raised with different social expectations. Girls are supposed to be “little mommies”–the caregivers. Boys are supposed to “man up” and be strong.

I’ve been examining my perspective lately. I’m responsive to people’s emotions, but is it through training and practice, or is it natural? I’m inclined to think that it’s a learned thing for me. It’s more natural nowadays, but only after years of it going over my head. I don’t know. I honestly don’t know.

Whether I get diagnosed with AS or not, my experiences are valid. I am not “normal” by a long shot. I have a hard time with ADHD being the only explanation. My therapist and the doctor who works with her insist it’s depression and ADHD, nothing more. I have to say that I don’t know many ADD/ADHD people who are my level of “strange.” There is a lot of AS/autism/ADHD in my family. There is no bipolar or other disorders, and we know I do not suffer from these.

Maybe I’m going about this all wrong, and I should focus on my daughter instead. Her future is still in flux. Then again, maybe one way to truly help her is to help myself. True?